A Cosmic "PSYCH!"
It was snowing when I got up this morning. Just enough to stick to the grass, although that has somehow melted throughout the day, even though it didn’t climb much above the low 30s. We just came off of two weeks of spring-like temperatures - the week I was out of state and this past week. It was literally in the 60s just a handful of days ago. Nothing like two weeks of hope followed by a cosmic “PSYCH! Just kidding, here’s some snow.” Ohio, the...what? Deceiver? Big tease? Maybe both.
I went to visit my mom yesterday which requires a 90 minute drive each way. My theme as I traveled was “be present.” I forced myself to slow my mind down and pay attention to the present moment. Notice things I might normally race by. The drive isn’t an unpleasant one, as long as I stay away from the interstate. Lucky for me, the scenic route doesn’t take any more time and sure is better for my soul than the view off of I-270, even in the throes of winter.
As I drove, my 70s-80s playlist keeping my head bobbing and occasionally prompting a shower-worthy performance of Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody, I did notice some things. A cluster of birch trees sitting a ways off the road in a field, their bare white trunks a welcome contrast to the surrounding shades of brown. Several trees budding out early (see paragraph #1). A man and his wife getting into their car along the charming Main Street of a small town along my way. The man’s clothing - a plaid flannel shirt and jeans with a baseball cap - called to mind my first love from high school. That, in and of itself, brings up so much from the past. My biggest regret, yet also some of the best times of my life, always remembered with fondness. It’s a story for another time, but if you knew me in high school, you’ll likely remember exactly who I’m reminiscing about. Funny how a random stranger’s attire can spark so many memories.
Be present.
I’ve carried the theme of presence into today while accomplishing much of what I had in mind to do. A sorely-needed cleaning of the apartment. Moved some furniture around, which really wasn’t planned, but my Christmas cactus has been languishing in a corner of the room away from enough light which prompted a rethinking of the room layout, resulting in the changes. If you’re woman (or even a man) living on your own and you are unaware of a product called Super Sliders, you should really look them up. Life-changing. I even got brave enough to make homemade pizza dough for the first time ever. Not a kit, but honest to goodness from scratch with yeast and everything. My history with yeast hasn’t been spectacular, which is why I needed the bravery. Today, the yeast thrived and I put a notch in my culinary belt.
Speaking of life-changing, I’ve got some things going on that are pretty exciting, but I hesitate to share them here just yet. Something about this fear I have that if I speak it out loud to more than a trusted one or two, then I’ll have to eat crow if it doesn’t work out. What do you think? Is it better to keep your cards close to your chest or throw caution to the wind and just put things out there? This also begs the question of whether, after having been so brutally honest in this blog about many things, do I really even care if anyone thinks I’m lame? Or a loser? Or a dreamer? Or a silly heart, like Maizy Russell?
Thank you for reading. ❤️
XX
If you are so inclined to support my silly heart, you can buy me a coffee.
